1
00:00:02,619 --> 00:00:04,620
Are you alone tonight?

2
00:00:04,621 --> 00:00:07,623
Well, consider yourself
lucky.

3
00:00:07,624 --> 00:00:09,625
There could be 2 of you,

4
00:00:09,626 --> 00:00:13,629
and imagine what a frightmare
that could be.

5
00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:14,630
Aah!

6
00:00:14,631 --> 00:00:16,131
Ah-ha ha ha.

7
00:00:16,132 --> 00:00:18,634
Just a reflection.

8
00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:21,637
Not so for tonight's stars,

9
00:00:21,638 --> 00:00:23,138
frank and Eddie...

10
00:00:23,139 --> 00:00:26,141
2 brothers who are
touchingly close.

11
00:00:26,142 --> 00:00:29,144
When a woman tries
to come between them,

12
00:00:29,145 --> 00:00:32,147
she finds herself
caught in a tangled web

13
00:00:32,148 --> 00:00:34,066
of jealousy and intrigue.

14
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,985
I think you'll find it
a twinning combination.

15
00:00:36,986 --> 00:00:41,373
So without further ado,
I bring you...

16
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,878
My brother's keeper.

17
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,303
Well, go! You drive
like an old lady.

18
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:54,304
Have I ever
told you that, frank?

19
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:55,804
Whenever I drive, Eddie.

20
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,756
Which is all the time,
isn't it, frank?

21
00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:59,641
Why even bother
having a Ferrari

22
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,643
when you drive it like
a goddamn Volkswagen?

23
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,028
You wanted the Ferrari.

24
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,029
Iwould've been very happy

25
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,030
with a Volkswagen.

26
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:07,950
You'd have been happy
with a bicycle built for 2.

27
00:01:07,951 --> 00:01:09,451
Now look, if you don't
step on it, I will.

28
00:01:09,452 --> 00:01:12,855
Ow! Get your foot
off me!

29
00:01:12,856 --> 00:01:14,858
Eddie, this isn't funny. We're
gonna have an accident!

30
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,861
I can't stand
being with you

31
00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:19,863
when you're
like this.

32
00:01:21,364 --> 00:01:24,032
Well, you don't have
much choice, do you, frank?

33
00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:26,034
Not unless you agree to see
that new doctor I've found.

34
00:01:26,035 --> 00:01:29,955
Not another doctor!
How many doctors do I...

35
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:34,159
Wh-whoa!

36
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,011
Enough! Stop!

37
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,596
Ok.

38
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,602
Eddie!

39
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,021
Don't you know
by now

40
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,524
that no doctor can help
us with our problems?

41
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,392
Problem, frank.

42
00:01:50,393 --> 00:01:52,311
We only have one problem.

43
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,313
But I got to admit,

44
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,814
it's a beaut.

45
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:55,815
It's a beaut.

46
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,820
Really, Eddie,
you'd be so much happier

47
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:05,324
if you'd just learn to accept...
Our condition.

48
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,826
Accept the fact
that we're freaks?

49
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:08,328
Accept the fact
that we're freaks?

50
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,330
Never.

51
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:11,831
Never.

52
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,721
You're only a freak...

53
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,223
If you think
you're a freak.

54
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,724
Aw, please, frank.

55
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:22,725
Aw, please, frank.

56
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,728
Keep your psycho bullshit.

57
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,231
When your ass is attached
to another guy's ass,

58
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,232
you're a freak.

59
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:30,233
You're a freak.

60
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,739
Bartender, give me
a scotch, will you?

61
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:38,740
Eddie, remember,

62
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:41,243
when you drink,
I feel it, too.

63
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,245
Oh, yeah, that's right.

64
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:43,745
Make it a double.

65
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,748
Hey, what's going on here?

66
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,249
You know, underneath that...

67
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,751
You looking at me?
Heh heh.

68
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:52,254
Ehh...

69
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,256
Gee, I thought I was the
only person weird enough

70
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,125
to read books
in bars.

71
00:02:57,126 --> 00:02:57,126
To read books
in bars.

72
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,097
Uh, mine's...

73
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,883
Andre malraux'
man's hope.

74
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,351
Well, this
certainly is...

75
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,770
Fate.

76
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,722
Ha.
Isn't that funny?

77
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:10,723
Ha.
Isn't that funny?

78
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,226
I'm Marie Hilton.

79
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:17,230
Uh, frank duran.

80
00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:18,731
Well-l-l-l.

81
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,232
Lookie here.

82
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,619
You know, under that Marian
the librarian exterior,

83
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,404
I'm thinking there's
a studded leather corset

84
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,322
just itching to get
out, am I right?

85
00:03:27,323 --> 00:03:28,824
Eddie! Please.

86
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:31,627
We were having
a nice conversation.

87
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,996
Well, hey, don't let me cramp
your style, little brother.

88
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:33,997
Well, hey, don't let me cramp
your style, little brother.

89
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,885
Is that guy
your brother?

90
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,337
Uh, yeah, yeah.

91
00:03:42,338 --> 00:03:43,839
I guess he got all
the personality.

92
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,840
Ehh...

93
00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:47,759
Well, if that's personality,
he can have it all.

94
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,263
You know, Marie,
you look familiar.

95
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,765
I could swear
we've met somewhere.

96
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,068
I don't know. Do you
ever go to the symphony?

97
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:56,069
I don't know. Do you
ever go to the symphony?

98
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,521
I love the symphony.

99
00:03:59,522 --> 00:04:01,356
Well, did you go
last Sunday?

100
00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:03,742
No. I couldn't convince
my brother to go.

101
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,245
Actually that's why I agreed
to come with him tonight.

102
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,747
3 trips to a bar
equal one symphony.

103
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:08,748
3 trips to a bar
equal one symphony.

104
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,584
Well, so you
and your brother

105
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,370
have to do
everything together?

106
00:04:14,871 --> 00:04:16,872
You see, Eddie and I...

107
00:04:16,873 --> 00:04:17,874
Come on, frank,
let's dance.

108
00:04:18,374 --> 00:04:19,374
Eddie, please.
I was just telling...

109
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,376
Tell it to her on the dance floor.
Come on.

110
00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:22,378
You wouldn't want to...

111
00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:24,379
I'd love to dance.

112
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,882
♪♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪

113
00:04:26,883 --> 00:04:28,884
♪♪ You can run ♪♪

114
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:31,386
♪♪ But you can't hide ♪♪

115
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:35,390
♪♪ I'm gonna be with you
right by your side ♪♪

116
00:04:35,391 --> 00:04:36,892
♪♪ I got it bad ♪♪

117
00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:38,394
♪♪ You know it's true ♪♪

118
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:41,396
♪♪♪ 'Cause I'm stuck, stuck ♪

119
00:04:41,397 --> 00:04:42,397
♪♪ Stuck on you ♪♪

120
00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,400
♪♪ Yeah, I'm stuck on you ♪♪

121
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:48,403
♪♪ Baby, you've discovered
I'm stuck on you ♪♪

122
00:04:48,404 --> 00:04:50,405
♪♪ I got ya covered ♪♪

123
00:04:50,406 --> 00:04:51,907
♪♪ I'm stuck on you... ♪♪

124
00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:53,910
Oh, my god.

125
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:55,410
You're...

126
00:04:55,411 --> 00:04:56,913
You're connected.

127
00:04:57,413 --> 00:04:58,413
Oh, is it that noticeable?

128
00:04:58,414 --> 00:04:58,414
Oh, is it that noticeable?

129
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:03,919
Yeah, Marie, I've been
meaning to tell you, uh...

130
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,338
Eddie and I are
siamese twins.

131
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,341
You're siamese twins?

132
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:10,342
Gross!

133
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:11,843
How about you?

134
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:12,844
You ever tried
the 4-legged lambada?

135
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:13,845
Eddie, come on!

136
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,347
Listen, it's get...
It's getting late,

137
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,848
and I have to get up
really early,

138
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,851
so I have
to go. Uh...

139
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:19,352
So I have
to go. Uh...

140
00:05:21,771 --> 00:05:25,157
Still don't think
you're a freak, frank?

141
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:25,158
Still don't think
you're a freak, frank?

142
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:29,244
Extraordinary.

143
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,164
Simply
extraordinary.

144
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,166
Not often does
one come across

145
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,535
a classic pago pagi
formation.

146
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,003
Twins.

147
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,221
Joined at
the bottom.

148
00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:40,972
Yeah, we know how
we're attached.

149
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:44,142
The question is,
can we be separated?

150
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:49,564
Well, you both have the
full complement of organs.

151
00:05:49,565 --> 00:05:51,316
You two are lucky
that way.

152
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:52,901
You hear that?
We're lucky, frank.

153
00:05:52,902 --> 00:05:55,904
Of course, you share
one single bloodstream.

154
00:05:55,905 --> 00:05:59,791
So, this dense
and tangled web

155
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,576
of veins and arteries

156
00:06:01,577 --> 00:06:04,629
would have to be
completely rerouted.

157
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,631
Ah. The complication.

158
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,634
But not one that
cannot be overcome.

159
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,636
Today, with lasers

160
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,138
and microsurgery,

161
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,639
there is a chance.

162
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,642
See,
there's a chance.

163
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,011
Yeah, what kind
of a chance?

164
00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:24,549
Uh... 50-50.

165
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,168
Uh, oh,
we'll take it.

166
00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:29,004
Good.

167
00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:30,389
Now wait a minute,
Eddie.

168
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,891
There is a 50% chance
we could die here.

169
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,393
No, no, no, frank.

170
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,896
There's a 50% chance
we'd live.

171
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,765
I thought you
and your brother

172
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,600
were of one mind
about this.

173
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,101
Oh, we are,
we are.

174
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:46,104
Well, then, you must sign
this medical release.

175
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:46,105
Well, then, you must sign
this medical release.

176
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:01,119
Come on.
Sign it, frank.

177
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,120
It's not
multiple choice.

178
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:04,005
I don't know, Eddie.

179
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,842
I'm gonna need more
time to think about it.

180
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:06,843
I'm gonna need more
time to think about it.

181
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,346
When you are ready
with the pen,

182
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,348
I shall be ready
with the knife.

183
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:13,349
I shall be ready
with the knife.

184
00:07:19,789 --> 00:07:21,791
You, uh, thinking
about the operation?

185
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:22,291
You, uh, thinking
about the operation?

186
00:07:28,297 --> 00:07:29,297
A little.

187
00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:29,799
A little.

188
00:07:37,807 --> 00:07:39,308
You're not going
to take a sleeping pill.

189
00:07:39,809 --> 00:07:41,310
I was planning
to do some reading.

190
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,980
The story of our life,
frank... you zig, and I zag.

191
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:47,232
You know, frank,
for most people,

192
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,233
the simple act
of peeing

193
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:51,102
does not have to be a
synchronized olympic event.

194
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:52,521
Ahh...

195
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:53,522
It's true.

196
00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:55,024
Just think, frank...

197
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:56,525
Once we get
the operation,

198
00:07:56,526 --> 00:07:59,028
you'll never have to go to
another baseball game again.

199
00:07:59,529 --> 00:08:02,031
Or Vegas... all that
hideous architecture.

200
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,533
Oh. You could sleep
in your own bed.

201
00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:04,534
Oh. You could sleep
in your own bed.

202
00:08:06,035 --> 00:08:07,419
I could roll over.

203
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,838
And that cooking school
in Paris

204
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,840
you always wanted
to go to?

205
00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:13,341
Cordon Rouge.

206
00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:14,844
It's cordon bleu.

207
00:08:15,344 --> 00:08:15,344
It's cordon bleu.

208
00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:18,180
Bleu, Rouge.
Whatever.

209
00:08:18,181 --> 00:08:20,182
The point is,
you could go.

210
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:20,183
The point is,
you could go.

211
00:08:23,186 --> 00:08:25,687
I could learn how to make
that salmon on crout￩

212
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:28,557
with a champagne
sauce.

213
00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:32,394
Frank, you can do
whatever you want,

214
00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:35,397
once we are free.

215
00:08:35,398 --> 00:08:35,398
Once we are free.

216
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,367
All you got to do
is sign it, frank.

217
00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:38,868
All you got to do
is sign it, frank.

218
00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:41,370
Just sign it.

219
00:08:41,871 --> 00:08:41,871
Just sign it.

220
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,164
The operation
is too risky.

221
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:53,165
The operation
is too risky.

222
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,085
Look, you sign
that release,

223
00:08:57,086 --> 00:09:00,255
or I'm giving you the
operation right here.

224
00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:01,756
Hey.
Sign it!

225
00:09:01,757 --> 00:09:02,642
Eddie, I'm afraid.

226
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,259
Afraid of what?

227
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,310
It'll work. We'll be
separated forever.

228
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,062
Well, maybe that's
what I'm afraid of.

229
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:09,848
Maybe I'm afraid that once
we're separated forever,

230
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,516
that... that
I would be...

231
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,735
Lonely.

232
00:09:13,736 --> 00:09:15,353
Lonely?

233
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:17,073
You goddamn pussy.

234
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:25,748
Hello.

235
00:09:25,749 --> 00:09:27,699
Hello, frank, this is
Marie from the bar.

236
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,284
Do you remember me?

237
00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:30,086
Yes, of course I
remember you, Marie.

238
00:09:30,087 --> 00:09:31,670
I wanted
to apologize

239
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,505
for my behavior
the other night.

240
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,873
And, well,
if you're willing

241
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,374
to give me
another chance,

242
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,293
I'd like to
see you again.

243
00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:37,293
I'd like to
see you again.

244
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,345
Marie
wants to see me.

245
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,846
Well, ask if she's had
a blood test.

246
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,181
I beg your pardon?

247
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,466
A, uh, guest.

248
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:45,885
My brother asked

249
00:09:46,435 --> 00:09:48,270
if you would like
to be our guest.

250
00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:50,772
Um, Eddie?

251
00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:52,274
Yes.

252
00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:54,276
What, uh, what are
you doing Friday?

253
00:09:54,277 --> 00:09:57,279
Well, I'm doing whatever
you're doing, aren't I, frank?

254
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:57,280
Well, I'm doing whatever
you're doing, aren't I, frank?

255
00:10:03,286 --> 00:10:04,786
Problem, frank?

256
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:06,788
A problem?

257
00:10:06,789 --> 00:10:08,290
Yes, I've got
a problem.

258
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,792
You haven't showered
in a week.

259
00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:13,795
You smell like
a compost heap.

260
00:10:13,796 --> 00:10:15,797
Ahh!

261
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,800
You know, I don't
care if you shave.

262
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:21,803
But will you please wash
before we go out tonight?

263
00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:23,805
Tell you what,
frank.

264
00:10:23,806 --> 00:10:26,975
I'll wash
while you sign.

265
00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:26,976
I'll wash
while you sign.

266
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,846
You get ready.

267
00:10:31,847 --> 00:10:37,986
You, I, and Marie
are going to the symphony.

268
00:10:37,987 --> 00:10:39,854
All right, frank.

269
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:41,324
Symphony it is.

270
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,212
Hey, sticky buns.

271
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:47,213
Hey, sticky buns.

272
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,719
You know, under
that distinguished

273
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,221
patron of the arts
exterior,

274
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,725
I'm thinking there's a studded
leather corset just itching to...

275
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,177
A toast to the chef.

276
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:04,179
Thank you.

277
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:04,180
Thank you.

278
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:07,182
Frank,
I just can't believe

279
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:09,685
you made all this
wonderful food yourself.

280
00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:11,686
Even
a chocolate souffl￩?

281
00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:14,190
Oh, souffl￩s are
quite easy, Marie.

282
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:17,609
It's simply a matter of
separating the egg whites.

283
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,611
Oh, but this is
delicious, really.

284
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,613
More?

285
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:22,114
Oh, no. I couldn't
possibly.

286
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:23,449
A smidge?

287
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,401
Well, maybe just a
teensy-eensy smidge.

288
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:27,903
Hey!

289
00:11:28,404 --> 00:11:30,905
Don't I get
a teensy-eensy smidge?

290
00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:31,906
Would you
like some more?

291
00:11:31,907 --> 00:11:33,908
No, but I'd like
a little more of that.

292
00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:33,909
No, but I'd like
a little more of that.

293
00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:38,913
Now...

294
00:11:38,914 --> 00:11:38,914
Now...

295
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,419
Where were we?

296
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:44,420
Egg whites.

297
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:45,920
Ah. Egg whites.

298
00:11:45,921 --> 00:11:45,921
Ah. Egg whites.

299
00:11:46,922 --> 00:11:48,424
Frank,
are you ok?

300
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:49,425
Sorry.

301
00:11:49,925 --> 00:11:51,427
It's just that
when Eddie drinks,

302
00:11:51,927 --> 00:11:53,929
I get drunk,
too.

303
00:11:55,431 --> 00:11:57,932
Boy, oh, boy.

304
00:11:57,933 --> 00:12:00,435
First time the schmuck gets
a beautiful woman up here,

305
00:12:00,436 --> 00:12:03,438
and he does his impression
of Julia Childs.

306
00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:06,858
Eddie, I happen to find your
brother's company stimulating.

307
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:09,411
Mm, oh, really?

308
00:12:09,412 --> 00:12:11,413
More stimulating
than let's say, oh,

309
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:14,916
a tank of nitrous oxide
and a 12-inch vibrator?

310
00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:18,286
Because that's the kind
of party I throw, babe.

311
00:12:18,287 --> 00:12:19,788
Hoo hoo!

312
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:20,790
You'll have
to excuse Eddie.

313
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:24,292
He's
being a bad boy.

314
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:25,794
Well, actually,
it's getting really late.

315
00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:27,295
I should be
going anyway.

316
00:12:27,296 --> 00:12:28,763
Oh, I'll see you
to the door.

317
00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,765
Oh, we'll both see you
to the door.

318
00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:33,268
Uhh. Unh.

319
00:12:33,269 --> 00:12:34,769
Unh.

320
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,771
Uhh. Uhh, Uhh.

321
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:37,273
Uhh. Uhh, Uhh.

322
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:46,281
Uh, thanks, frank. Thanks
for a wonderful evening.

323
00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:47,782
I'd offer to...

324
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:49,784
Eh eh eh...

325
00:12:49,785 --> 00:12:52,287
Eh eh. Unh!

326
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:54,289
I'd offer
to drive you home,

327
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,791
but I'm not
in any condition.

328
00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:58,293
Oh, sure.
That's ok.

329
00:12:58,294 --> 00:12:59,712
Hope you understand.

330
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:00,212
Hope you understand.

331
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,087
Good night.

332
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:09,088
Good night.

333
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,092
Au revoir, marie.

334
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:17,095
Au revoir.

335
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,597
I know you tried
to ruin it for me,

336
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:21,099
but you didn't.

337
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:25,103
I'm happy,
happy, happy.

338
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,604
And you know why?

339
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:27,605
Uh-uh.

340
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:30,441
'Cause I'm in love.

341
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,944
Yeah, yeah. I know.

342
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,780
You fall in love,
and I get a boner.

343
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:35,781
You fall in love,
and I get a boner.

344
00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:42,954
You know, Marie,

345
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:47,375
these past few weeks have
been the happiest of my life.

346
00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:49,294
Oh, frank.

347
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,546
And you know how I
feel about you, too.

348
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,381
Yeah, yeah, oh!

349
00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:55,383
Oh, oh, oh!

350
00:13:55,384 --> 00:13:55,384
Oh, oh, oh!

351
00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:58,887
Um, what I suggest you do...

352
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:00,889
What I always do
in this situation...

353
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:02,892
Just let your mind
go completely blank.

354
00:14:03,392 --> 00:14:04,894
Well, I don't know
if I can.

355
00:14:06,395 --> 00:14:08,897
Uhh.
Yah! Ow!

356
00:14:08,898 --> 00:14:11,900
I should probably be on bended
knee for this, but, uh...

357
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:14,402
Aah! Oh,
I'm a naughty boy.

358
00:14:14,403 --> 00:14:16,905
Will you, uh...

359
00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:17,906
W... would you...

360
00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:20,408
Aah! Unh. Aah!

361
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:23,411
Will you marry me?

362
00:14:23,412 --> 00:14:24,913
Oh, frank,
I'm sorry, but...

363
00:14:24,914 --> 00:14:25,914
Marie?

364
00:14:25,915 --> 00:14:26,916
It's too bizarre.

365
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:28,416
Marie.

366
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,417
Marie!

367
00:14:29,418 --> 00:14:33,922
I better go see about that girl.
Stay there.

368
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,423
You, too.

369
00:14:35,424 --> 00:14:36,925
Whoa.

370
00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:38,927
I am warning you,
Eddie.

371
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,428
You get off my back.

372
00:14:40,429 --> 00:14:42,430
Heh, I'd love to,
Frankie boy,

373
00:14:42,431 --> 00:14:45,233
but you're afraid of being lonely.
Ha ha ha!

374
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,436
Hey, miss thing.

375
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:47,853
Hey, miss thing.

376
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,391
Eddie says you're doing
a real good job.

377
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,895
You got his brother frank
right where he wants him.

378
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,313
No shit.

379
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,814
Ha ha!

380
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,816
But see, you got to turn up
the heat now, baby.

381
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,235
You got to pump up
the jam.

382
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,069
Pump it up. Right.

383
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,071
Mm-hmm.
Pump up the jam.

384
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,573
'Cause Eddie says that
if you get his brother

385
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,409
to sign some paper
by tonight,

386
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,911
girlfriend,
we don't have to be

387
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,412
hoin' these streets
no more.

388
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,915
Well, let's
get it over with.

389
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,166
All right.

390
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:18,167
All right.

391
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,256
Frank,
we have to talk.

392
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,258
Look,

393
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,261
I don't blame you for
being upset, Marie,

394
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,764
but it won't always be like this.
I promise you.

395
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,766
Frank, I want
to believe you,

396
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,734
but what kind of future
can we have

397
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,737
with him with us
all the time?

398
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,739
Give us one more chance.

399
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:41,740
Give us one more chance.

400
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:44,193
I love you.

401
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:47,195
I love you, too,
frank, but...

402
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,613
Marie, please.

403
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,616
Just give me
one more chance.

404
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,118
It just couldn't
work this way, frank.

405
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,620
It's not like
there's anything

406
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,038
you could do about it.

407
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,957
The way things are...

408
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,760
I'm sorry. I don't know
what else to say, frank,

409
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:03,629
but...

410
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,630
Good-bye.

411
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,633
Marie.

412
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,635
Marie. Marie. Marie!

413
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:10,636
Marie. Marie. Marie!

414
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,137
Give me the key.

415
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,139
Now where did
I put that key?

416
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141
Marie, wait!

417
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,142
Give me the goddamn key, Eddie!

418
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,145
Hmm... Key, key.
Oh, here it is, frank.

419
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:20,646
Hmm... Key, key.
Oh, here it is, frank.

420
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,650
Come on. Marie!

421
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,653
Now get up!

422
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,154
No!

423
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,657
You son of a bitch.

424
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,659
You ruined my one
chance at happiness.

425
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:34,660
You ruined my one
chance at happiness.

426
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,166
Fisticuffs
from you, frank?

427
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,668
How uncivilized.

428
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:43,669
How uncivilized.

429
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,174
You disgust me.

430
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,675
Good.

431
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:53,177
Uhh!
Uhh!

432
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:53,178
Uhh!
Uhh!

433
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,182
I hate you.

434
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,185
Now you're talking.

435
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,686
Unh!

436
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:01,687
Unh!

437
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,190
I can't live like this anymore.

438
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,576
What are you
going to do about it?

439
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:08,577
What are you
going to do about it?

440
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,450
I'm going to...

441
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:16,952
You're going to what?

442
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,454
I'm going to...

443
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,956
You're going to what,
frank?

444
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:25,960
I'm going to sign Dr.
Schnellkraut's release form.

445
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,465
Well, it's about
fucking time.

446
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:34,970
Here, Frankie...

447
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:35,471
Here, Frankie...

448
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,443
Frank...

449
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,399
Marie, you came back.

450
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,402
Don't sign that release,
frank.

451
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,403
Shut up, Marie.

452
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,905
How do you know
about the release?

453
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,906
It was all a setup.

454
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,910
Eddie hired me to help convince
you to have that operation.

455
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,410
I'm warning you, Marie.

456
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,412
So you never really
cared about me?

457
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,914
Well, I wasn't
supposed to,

458
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,250
but I fell in love
with you, frank.

459
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,803
You did?

460
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:10,805
I mean, I don't know
if you can forgive me,

461
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:13,174
but if that proposal
still stands...

462
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,643
Oh, it does.
It does. It does.

463
00:18:15,644 --> 00:18:18,146
I'll marry you, frank,
just the way you are.

464
00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:19,647
I don't want you
to have that operation.

465
00:18:19,648 --> 00:18:23,651
It's... it's too risky.
I don't want to lose you.

466
00:18:23,652 --> 00:18:24,652
Oh, Marie.

467
00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:24,653
Oh, Marie.

468
00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:31,659
We'll build a little house
for the 3 of us.

469
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,327
How do you feel
about kids?

470
00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:37,699
Now I'll never
get rid of him!

471
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,700
Unh!

472
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,203
Darling?

473
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:42,704
I... I felt you
stiffen.

474
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,205
Am I rushing things?

475
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:44,206
Am I rushing things?

476
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,709
Oh, my god!

477
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,211
Oh, my god!

478
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,712
What did you do?

479
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,215
Double-crossing bitch wouldn't
keep her mouth shut, frank!

480
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,217
I'll call for help.
I'll call the police.

481
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,719
Allow me, frank. Looks like
you got your hands full.

482
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,222
- Hello, 9-1-1?
- Emergency.

483
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,723
Yeah, this is Edward duran.

484
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,610
I just killed my brother's
fianc￩e with a cleaver.

485
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,030
No, no. The name's duran.
I used a cleaver.

486
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:09,897
Please hold.
Oh, sure, I'll hold.

487
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,700
You're going to pay
for this, Eddie!

488
00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:14,702
Always the dreamer,
huh, frank?

489
00:19:14,703 --> 00:19:17,205
If they sentence me
to the gas chamber,

490
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:19,707
they'll never be able
to carry it out.

491
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:21,209
Think about it, frank.

492
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:23,711
If they kill me,
they kill you.

493
00:19:23,712 --> 00:19:26,215
Now, that's cruel
and unusual punishment.

494
00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:28,217
Hello, sir. Are you
sure the victim's dead?

495
00:19:28,717 --> 00:19:29,551
Am I sure she's dead?

496
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,002
Yeah,
she's definitely dead.

497
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,754
You're a monster, Eddie.

498
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,757
Yeah, but I'm your monster,
Frankie boy...

499
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:37,758
Forever.
We're on our way.

500
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,761
Ok. We'll be waiting.
Heh heh heh.

501
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,146
Hey, what's this?

502
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,432
Frank, I'm not
going anywhere.

503
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:43,932
Frank, I'm not
going anywhere.

504
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,436
Whoa! Hey,
what are you doing?

505
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:48,437
Whoa! Hey,
what are you doing?

506
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,656
Hey, frank,
what are you doing?

507
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:56,327
I'm having a little
midnight snack.

508
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,280
Hey, you're taking
too many of those pills!

509
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,783
Am I? I'm kind of
a novice at this.

510
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286
All right, frank,
don't fool around.

511
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:09,790
Shouldn't mix booze
with... with those pills.

512
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:09,791
Shouldn't mix booze
with... with those pills.

513
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:17,549
I thought you liked to
live dangerously, Eddie.

514
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:18,050
I thought you liked to
live dangerously, Eddie.

515
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,053
Ever since
we were kids,

516
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,555
I've had to put up with
you being the bad one,

517
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:28,059
make excuses
for you.

518
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,561
I clean up
after you...

519
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,065
Apologize for you.

520
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,567
Well,
that's a lot...

521
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,070
Of responsibility

522
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,575
having to be the good
one all the time.

523
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,076
Frank!

524
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:49,080
You're killing...
Killing us.

525
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:49,081
You're killing...
Killing us.

526
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,754
I can't live
attached...

527
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,174
To a murderer.

528
00:20:59,675 --> 00:20:59,675
To a murderer.

529
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,539
Frank... Duran.

530
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:27,002
My head.

531
00:21:27,502 --> 00:21:27,502
My head.

532
00:21:29,004 --> 00:21:30,955
Where am I?

533
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,940
You're in
a hospital, Eddie.

534
00:21:32,941 --> 00:21:37,745
Oh, how typical, frank.

535
00:21:37,746 --> 00:21:39,530
You try to kill me,
and all you do

536
00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:41,916
is give me
a hell of a hangover.

537
00:21:41,917 --> 00:21:45,753
Sweetheart, get me a
bloody Mary, will you?

538
00:21:45,754 --> 00:21:49,724
Make it a double.
Heh heh heh.

539
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,226
Well, Mr. duran,

540
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,978
looks like you're well
enough for visitors.

541
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:57,315
Edward duran,
you're under arrest

542
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,316
for the murder
of Marie Hilton.

543
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,152
Marie Hilton... Let's see.

544
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,120
Oh, yeah, that's right.

545
00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:05,072
Jeez, I... I did
kill her, didn't I?

546
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,041
You have the right
to remain silent.

547
00:22:07,042 --> 00:22:08,959
Anything you say can and
will be used against you

548
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,411
in a court of law.

549
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:11,412
You have the right
to talk to a lawyer...

550
00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:12,914
I guess detective
potato head here

551
00:22:13,382 --> 00:22:14,832
hasn't done
his homework.

552
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,335
I mean, there's really
nothing he can do, heh,

553
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,720
seeing as how
we're freaks.

554
00:22:19,721 --> 00:22:22,973
We're not freaks,
Eddie.

555
00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:24,475
We're free.

556
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:24,476
We're free.

557
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,897
Or at least... I am.

558
00:22:29,898 --> 00:22:31,265
Hey, you're over there!

559
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:33,651
Oh, did I forget
to mention?

560
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:36,821
I signed Dr. schnellkraut's
release form.

561
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:40,107
He did a pretty good
job, don't you think?

562
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:43,611
No! don't let them
take me away from you, frank!

563
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,863
They're going to put me
in the gas...

564
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,249
Oh, what's come
over you, big brother?

565
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:50,618
You're acting like
a goddamn pussy.

566
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,371
They're gonna put me
in the gas chamber!

567
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,374
Aah!

568
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:58,377
Ah, but don't worry.
I'll be doing the living

569
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:01,296
for both of us,
Eddie boy.

570
00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:07,301
Ooh, nurse.

571
00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:10,805
You know, under that
crisp, white uniform,

572
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:13,808
I'm thinking there's a
studded leather corset

573
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:17,311
just itching
to come out.

574
00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:18,813
Am I right?

575
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,314
Heh heh heh.

576
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:20,315
Heh heh heh.

577
00:23:22,617 --> 00:23:24,618
Well, maggotmeisters,

578
00:23:24,619 --> 00:23:27,621
how's that
for a cheeky little tale?

579
00:23:27,622 --> 00:23:29,123
Heh heh heh heh.

580
00:23:29,124 --> 00:23:34,128
Frank sure picked a deadly
time to sever all thighs

581
00:23:34,129 --> 00:23:35,629
with his brother.

582
00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:40,634
And poor Eddie suffered
the unkindest cut of all...

583
00:23:40,635 --> 00:23:43,638
A real split personality.

584
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:52,546
Captioning made possible by
Warner bros.

585
00:23:52,547 --> 00:23:55,549
Captioned by the national captioning
institute... www.Ncicap.Org...

586
00:23:55,550 --> 00:23:55,550
Captioned by the national captioning
institute... www.Ncicap.Org...